Election Eve 2016

I'm sure there will be a dozen posts about this election. The country is absolutely divided. 

Trump vs. Clinton

Trump has made promises of slowing immigration, building this infamous wall Mexico will pay for, deporting 11 million undocumented immigrants, banning Muslim Terrorists, defeating ISIS, creating more jobs and cutting taxes. 

I will admit he changes his mind like I change my panties. He needs to make a 'Mom To-Do List' and stick with it. I believe he truly wants to make American great again and he believes he will do right. 

Now Hillary, good Lord. This woman makes me sad for having a vagina. I really have nothing nice to say about her. She is an embarrassment. She is, at the very least, a liar. Why can't she just say, "Yea. I deleted the e-mails. Oopsy!" Shit. Keep a little credit on your side, Hil-dog. Did you know that felons are not allowed to vote? I'm not talking about the ones sitting in jail still. I'm talking about the people who served their time and are trying to live right. I can go on about that, but that's a post for another day. 

Anyway....where was I? 

I am all for a woman President, but this cow is more embarrassing than Trump's spray tan. Which brings me to what happened when I went to the store for my energy drink this evening. I visit this store often. Kind, good kids. Two of the employees were behind the counter, laughing and joking back and forth. They were talking about the election. These are two of my favorites at this store and I quickly join in with them. The little girl, she's 18, volunteered that she voted for Hillary and proceeding to tell me her reason why. 

Go ahead, take a seat and hold on. 

"I didn't vote for her Hillary because she is a woman. I voted for her because she has more experience. Plus, I don't want to see a cheeto in office" 

Yes. Your eyes do not deceive you. I'll let that sit in for a moment. 

Didn't vote for her because she thought her ideas were better such as raising minimum wage or her ideas for their age group 18-25 will be beneficial. 

No. Not even close. 

Because. She. Doesn't. Want.  A. Cheeto. In. Office. 

My mind was blown. This is why we are in trouble. The 'Millennials' are more concerned about looks than what really matters. You don't like Trump, fine, but come up with something better than he resembles a cheeto. 

10 Reasons Why Kids are Mini Drunks

I was thinking about crazy things my kids have done lately and realized they're pretty comparable to the shit-faced twenty-somethings. I feel like I'm either watching a live episode of Jack-Ass or having flashbacks to my high school years. Here is a top ten list of why kids are like mini-drunks:

10. They always speak the truth. Absolutely no filter. I was pulled over for speeding one time. The officer did his normal routine and as he was walking away to go run my license, my oldest son said, "Sir..SIR, if you are going to take my Mama to jail, can you point me the way to the house?"

9. They cannot act appropriately in public.

8. They always have a coozi in tow. The baby screams for a sippy cup like a 24 hour alcoholic in rehab.

7. They talk to "people" that are not there.

6. They make these faces.

5. They can literally sleep anywhere.

4. They have no shame when it comes to keeping clothes on.

3. They can never get food in their mouths and it makes them angry.

2. They can often be found in the bathroom.

1. They always seem to find themselves in sticky situations.

I know others must feel this way. These kids are hilarious and there is never, EVER a dull moment.

What crazy things have your kids done?

Louisiana Looters

Have ya'll heard about the "Louisiana Looters?" This whole ordeal has really chapped my ass. I'm not one to jump on the PA boat with my high horse and condemn these particular people, but this is ridiculous. Let me give you the quick scoop.

Last month, Xerox was doing a routine system check and the system crashed. When this system crashed, they alerted all EBT accepting retailers in 17 states. Some stores put up signs stating that shoppers wouldn't be able to use their cards due to technical difficulties. However, Wal-Mart, being huge idiots, agreed to allow shoppers to use their EBT cards thinking they would use that trusty honor system. When food stamp recipients found out about this in Springhill and Mansfield, Louisiana, they went insane. They cleared the shelves, throwing anything and everything edible in their carts.

I'm curious. At what point did the managers of Wal-Mart realize that people were being deceitful. Was it when people were acting like the sky was falling and stocking up for a Zombie Apocalypse? Or maybe when they had to call the police for crowd control? Maybe it wasn't until they announced that the system was up and people left their completely full carts all over the store and walked out.

I just don't understand this. I don't understand why people receiving benefits were taking full advantage of the system and Wal-Mart, to an extent, absolutely knew what was going on and allowed it to happen. One lady, rolled on up to a cash register with over $700 of groceries in her basket. The system came up in the middle of her transaction to find out she only had 50 cents on her card. The police tried to arrest her and Wal-Mart released the woman.

So, who do we hold accountable? Wal-Mart for not using the emergency protocol and allowing recipients to over spend by hundreds? Or is it the recipients who knowingly took advantage of the system during a major malfunction? The Governor of Louisiana has released a statement saying these people will be held accountable and will face consequences of their actions. Consequences include banning from the program for a year, two years or life. All in all, the ones that will truly suffer are the children because their parents made a horrible, thoughtless decision. There is a process to determine eligibility for the program and they obviously qualified or they wouldn't have had it to begin with. So, will baning these people really solve anything? Children will go hungry and who knows if these parents will find a job or a second job to make up for their benefit loss. I don't agree with life sentences of receiving benefits. I think this should be a "wean off" program. Welfare was created to help people in bad times. A program to help them get back on their feet, not a way of life. I hope the people who took advantage of a technical malfunction will have to pay the consequences. I just hope the children of the irresponsible parents don't end up being the victims.


What are your thoughts?

Meet Diablo Blanco

Meet Diablo Blanco-

This is my youngest son, finger painting with Cocoa Pebbles in his room at 9:00 at night. He stole this cereal out of the pantry, on the top shelf without making a sound. I have three older children and never has any of them given me such a run for my money as this one. If he would have been a first, I'm sure he would have been an only child. Diablo Blanco, as we call him, is a a little terrorist. He is two years old and his terrible two's started at a year old and I'm pretty sure they will never end. Like ever. This kid screams for absolutely no reason. He can never behave in Wal-Mart. I'm that Mom that everyone hates. He'll scream and throw himself on the floor and it's not even over a "no" comment. Half the time, I don't even know what he is so pissed about and I don't really think he knows, either. Sometimes, I'll just stare at him, ask him where his parents are and run around the corner of the aisle. This usually snaps him out of his latest melt down and he will sit in the basket for 15 minutes without a word. And then he forgets. We're back to square ONE. He's just insane and driving me to drinking.
Another time, I was cleaning the kitchen. He was watching Mickey Mouse in the living room being awesome. It got eerily quiet and as I went to check on him I noticed he was missing. I ran around my house, yelling his name. Ran outside and yelled louder. Went back inside to grab my phone to call 911, because turning myself in now for losing a 2 year old seemed like a good way to claim my mother of the year award.
And then, I heard it. I slight snicker. A very quiet one. I went to the bathroom, the only place I hadn't checked thoroughly, ripped back the shower curtain and found this:

He looked up at me with this grin and I know exactly what he was thinking, "Hey Mom! I heard you the whole time, yelling for me and almost shitting your pants and I was right here the whole time. Silly Mommy." None, I repeat, NONE of my children have ever done this to me before. I have had pretty well behaved kids. Casanova was quiet and good with his occasional temper tantrums. Snoopy was a sweet little girl that walked 9 months and talked by 1 year, Her occasional craziness consisted of smearing her diaper all over the wall and drinking random liquids that had me calling poison control three times in 1 week. ScarFace was the best baby of all of them. He slept through the night at 1 month, rarely cried and played well by himself or with others. Very laid back kid then and now. Nothing, including Snoopy's antics, could've prepared me for this. This little crazy kid. The one they call Diablo Blanco. Anything this kid can do to scare me, he does it. Like jumping off the FireWork stand (Blame Uncle Scotty for that one) or climbing to the top bunk and jumping off to his brothers. He makes constant messes anywhere he goes and anytime of the day. And I'm about ready to sell him to the Circus. 

Until he does things like this: 

Or this:

Then he sucks you in with his sweetness. Don't be fooled, because it only lasts a short while. He will charm you and make you just fall in love with him. I must be paying for Hubby's raising because I was way too precious to be this devious. 

** How can you not love that kid...... Look at the SuperMan mask and the sweet hugs to his Great Grandpa. Damn it, kid. You did it again.**

Domestic Godess Days are OVAH, buddy.

 I was the ultimate , wait, scratch that, a good housewife. A domestic godess, rather. The kids were taken care of, house was clean and dinner was on the table the minute he walked through the door. Chaos was kept down to the low roar setting when 'hubby' came home. However, staying home just wasn't enough. I just had to go back to work. I needed adult interaction. I needed conversation. Something other than Dora the Explorer or visiting the stupid rat at Chuck E. Cheese.  I could not bear to wipe another bottom or catch a boogie with my sleeve, anymore.

Apparently, this is where I screwed up.  

I came home today to utter chaos. Toys EVERYWHERE, blankets hung on bunk beds and chairs, the days dishes overflowing the sink, trash outside of the trash can and this awful smell. My youngest was covered in dirt so much on first glance I thought he had black eyes.  This was NOT how I left my house and children today when I went to work. 

I left the kids with 'hubby' and that was my first mistake. I just don't understand how you can't just pick up after yourself. It's really not that hard. Trash goes in the trash can. Laundry in the hamper. When you play with this toy, put it up  before you get a new one. This is obviously a really hard concept for anyone other than me. 

I work 40+ hours a week only to work twice as hard at home. I don't even have a weekend anymore. I get off work on Fridays to only rush home to pray I get everything done by Monday. I didn't raise them to be pigs and 'hubby' used to be such a neat freak, my changing outfits in the morning and leaving them on the bed was an outrageous crime. 

Now, let me tell you. I've come up with the sweetest revenge. I give up. I'm done. Throwing in the towel. No more cleaning from Mom. I'll just wear shoes constantly to avoid those damned Lego's and whatever bodily fluid that might end up on my pretty carpet. My kids can look like Mini-Hobos and do what they want. The 'hubby' can wash his own laundry and make his own meals. And I'll just sit back while my house becomes condemned and when they say 'why, Mom, why don't you clean and cook for us anymore?' (in their whiny voices) I'm sure I will have some sly remark such as 'You wanted to be pigs, so I let you all live like pigs' or 'I wanted a new house.' Or something better than all of that. I still have fire coming from my face, so my brain isn't really working this evening. But, it'll be good. It will be really good. 

**evil laughter** 

I hope you step on Lego, kid, those things hurt and MAYBE you'll THEN put the damn things away.