School Supply Hell

I went to buy school supplies last night. (du, du, dunnn) I think I would rather fall on a knife than to shop for school supplies. I have 3 school-aged kids; Casanova is in 2nd, Snoopy is in 1st and ScarFace is a big Kindergarten kid this year. When I made this decision to shop, I figured I would buy in "thirds". I would buy half the actual supplies this week, the rest next week and the GermX, CloroxWipes and Ziploc baggies at the Salvage Store when I did my grocery shopping.

Snoopy and I arrived at the "Gates of Hell", pulled out the list and quickly got to work. As I started working through the three lists, I noticed things such as 24 glue sticks and a gallon of GermX. Who needs 24 glue sticks? Seriously. That is ridiculous. If I bought all the glue sticks on all of the kid's lists, we would be looking at 72 glue sticks. That's 36 dollars  just on sticks of glue. What in the actual fuckity fuck? Not happening. Not even close. I bought each kid 4 glue sticks and the teachers will know that if MY kid runs out, I will purchase more without a single complaint. 

However, I will not, repeat, will not supply the entire class room with supplies. There is really no excuse to not provide your child with school supplies. If you can't afford it, there are so many programs, churches and events throughout the Summer for school supplies. It boils down to laziness. These parents are too lazy to shop or attend these events for school supplies. They expect other parents or the teacher to provide supplies for their child.

**News Flash** 

Teachers get crappy pay for one of the hardest jobs ever and my children will not be the reason they have to purchase more supplies.

And what is it with this gallon bottle of GermX? For argument sake, let's say 10 out of the 20 children in one classroom bring a gallon sized GermX. That's a lot of freaking hand sanitizer. Last time I checked, every classroom at my children's school have sinks. It's called soap and water. Make little Timmy wash his dirty hands. Two minutes tops. GermX is absolutely not a substitute for basic good hygiene. I don't like the idea that my children do not wash their hands before lunch or after their use in the bathroom because they have hand sanitizer.  

Hell, who needs soap? I've got GermX.

Also, trying to figure out the difference between poly and plastic folders, with or without pockets and brads makes me want to head butt a knife. Why can't we just use the good ol' paper folders with pockets and brads that cost 10 cents? I know, I know those rip easier, but you could buy 20 and only spend two dollars. Plenty for one child for one year, right? I couldn't find highlighters in theses specific colors or the particular grading pencils they requested. And why do I have to purchase copy paper? Where are my tax dollars going? Why am I buying the school things they should already have? When I was in elementary, (I double checked this with Mother so, it's legit) my mom only bought Kleenex and the necessary school supplies. None of this nonsense of baby wipes, Clorox, 24 glue sticks or 48 crayons. And everything was labeled to only be used by that child. No community pile. No sharing. It seems the teachers, the school board or school supply list demons are getting more ridiculous every year. 

There is a school in another city close by that buys all supplies for their elementary classes. They had a great year with PTA and ran out of updates. All classes have SmartBoards. Pretty cool, but I kinda like the whole chalk board concept. Call me old school. Whatever. 

Maybe, I should join PTA this year and say something about it. But, that would make me an overachieving Mom and we can't have that now, can we? 

No. 

I finally just gave up. I will try another day. You know, the day before school starts. You'll find me at "The Gates of Hell" picking through the leftovers. Pray my sons don't get a Justin Bieber folder. They might just die of embarrassment. Mama loves you, remember that, kid!!

What are your feelings on school supply lists?? 

Top 5 Hubby "No-No's"

The hubby can be an idiot sometimes. He thinks he is being funny when he sends a mass text message to our family and friends with a picture attached to a text stating, "This is Court when she is mad."He apparently thought it was a great idea to send it to me, too. I can take a joke. I have a sense of humor, but I don't like being compared to a demon possessed person with scratches all over her face and green, nasty shit coming from every orifice. Look here guy, I've come up with a short and simple list to keep your ass out of the dog house.

Number 1. Sending a mass text message of ANY God-awful pictures of your wife with a tacky message attached. This is not cute or funny and we do not want to know how you really feel about us. 

Number 2. If we ask you a question, we already know the answer. You may just want to answer honestly because lying about that new gun being "Just for Mama" when we both know you were just itching for a new gun. Honey, this will never work out in your favor. 

Number 3. It does not make me want to clean by myself all the time because you say, "Baby, you look so sexy scrubbing those floors." Nor, does this comment make me feel sexy. I'll tell you what's sexy, a man that helps with dishes and takes out the trash. 

 Number 4. We both have our moments with the kids, but when I say no Dr. Pepper or candy, I mean it. I would like for my children's teeth to stay in their head and would like to have a peaceful evening not a power surge at 9:00 at night. Again, this is not cute or helpful.

Number 5. Telling me you'll cook and clean the kitchen to give me the night off is really sweet and us women like that. However, when you serve me a nice dinner, which again A+,  and let me know that you cooked and I will have to clean is really false advertising and costs you valuable brownie points. This makes me want to punch you. Hard. In the face. 

It's a learning process, guys. We still love y'all and will be patient. Just remember we all like flowers, a sweet I love you and a mini vacation from the kids.

Do you have any rules for your boyfriend/fiance/husband?

ETA:I need to edit the previous post. I have found another 'no-no' for the hubby. 

Number 6. Do not drool over the gas station attendant in front of your wife. She will not find it cute that your acting like horny teenager and I'm pretty sure the attendant will not go home with you after seeing you driving a vehicle with cars seats and socks with sandals.