Showing posts with label insane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insane. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

10 Reasons Why Kids are Mini Drunks

I was thinking about crazy things my kids have done lately and realized they're pretty comparable to the shit-faced twenty-somethings. I feel like I'm either watching a live episode of Jack-Ass or having flashbacks to my high school years. Here is a top ten list of why kids are like mini-drunks:

10. They always speak the truth. Absolutely no filter. I was pulled over for speeding one time. The officer did his normal routine and as he was walking away to go run my license, my oldest son said, "Sir..SIR, if you are going to take my Mama to jail, can you point me the way to the house?"

9. They cannot act appropriately in public.

8. They always have a coozi in tow. The baby screams for a sippy cup like a 24 hour alcoholic in rehab.

7. They talk to "people" that are not there.

6. They make these faces.
5. They can literally sleep anywhere.

4. They have no shame when it comes to keeping clothes on.

3. They can never get food in their mouths and it makes them angry.
2. They can often be found in the bathroom.

1. They always seem to find themselves in sticky situations.

I know others must feel this way. These kids are hilarious and there is never, EVER a dull moment.

What crazy things have your kids done?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Weekly Insanity 7-21-2013

This week has been insane, sad and happy all at the same time.  

I had a dear friend pass away. He lost his short battle to cancer and joined the angels Monday. He was such an amazing man. He loved my children as if they were his own and treated me like his little sister. His wife is my best friend from 6th grade. I am amazed by her strength through this entire deal. You make me proud to call you my friend. I love you, doll. 

On a brighter note, my sister-in-law married this evening to the man of her dreams. This short month of planning this amazing wedding. I know it was stressful, but the wedding and reception were beautiful. Y'all looked great.  I wish y'all the best of luck. May you be as miserable as the rest of us. 

My Fav Topics***

I think I missed the Honey Boo Boo 'Scratch and Sniff' event. Damn. I really was looking forward to smelling some body odor and a bodily function or hell, buttered spaghetti. Nasty. This is what makes Southeners look like fucking morons. This is WHY people think we're idiots and can't read or just flat out don't have class. You're a disgrace, Boo-Boo's Mother. You can't blame the child and I WILL blame the child's dumb ass mother. Shit.

Wal-Mart sucks and we all know this.  If I lived closer to Target, I would be a frequent shopper. However, I'm a lazy bitch that doesn't want to drive across town. 

Hubby No-No is a frequent read. I love the list and the add-ins I keep coming across. Like yesterday, for instance, at the rehearsal dinner. The Groom stood up to tell the story of how he and the Bride had met. He started off with I first met Bride in the 7th grade and she knew who I was, but I didn't know who she was plus I liked her friend. And he went on and on about how he NEVER noticed Bride until a couple of years. I would have beat my husband. He wouldn't have made it to the wedding. 

That's all I have tonight. It was a hectic week, but nothing I can't handle in this crazy thing called life.